How do you get over FOMO?

If you already know what FOMO is, this is the other half: how do you get over it? The short answer is that you cannot argue yourself out of a feeling, but you can change the inputs that keep producing it. The research here is modest and the fixes are not glamorous. They do work, a bit at a time.

Can FOMO be cured?

No, not in the medical sense, because it is not a condition. The fear of missing out is defined in the research as “a pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent,” along with a desire to stay continually connected.^[2] That is an ordinary social feeling, and nothing here is medical advice.

What the evidence does suggest is that it can be turned down. In a 2018 trial, 143 undergraduates at the University of Pennsylvania were randomly assigned either to limit Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat to 10 minutes per platform per day, or to carry on as usual, for three weeks. Both groups reported significant drops in anxiety and fear of missing out compared with where they started.^[1] The researchers suggested the shared benefit came from self-monitoring: simply paying attention to your own use.

So the realistic goal is not a cure. It is a quieter hum.

How do you overcome FOMO?

Three moves, in roughly this order: notice, reduce, reconnect.

Notice. The cheapest intervention in that 2018 study was the one both groups shared: they were watching their own use.^[1] Check your screen time figures once a week. Notice which apps, which accounts and which times of day leave you feeling behind. You cannot change a pattern you have not seen.

Reduce. The group that actually limited their use to 10 minutes per platform went further: they also showed significant reductions in loneliness and depression over the three weeks, compared with the control group.^[1] You do not need to copy the exact numbers. The point is a boundary. Our guide on how to stop doomscrolling has practical ways to add friction.

Reconnect. FOMO is about belonging, so the lasting fix is actual belonging. That means plans with real people, even small and dull ones. A cup of tea with one friend does more for the underlying need than an evening of watching forty acquaintances enjoy themselves.

Why do some people get FOMO more than others?

Two things stand out: unmet needs and age. In the 2013 study that created the Fear of Missing Out scale, a nationally representative sample of 2,079 working-age adults in Great Britain was surveyed. People who reported lower satisfaction of basic psychological needs, feeling less competent, less autonomous and less connected to others, tended to report more FOMO. Younger people reported more of it too.^[2]

The caveat is that this was a correlation at one point in time, so it cannot show which way the arrow points. Still, it is a useful lens. If FOMO flares, it is worth asking which need is going hungry. Feeling stuck at work, feeling out of control of your time and feeling lonely all make the feed more painful to look at.

The same study found that FOMO was robustly linked to higher social media engagement.^[2] Which explains the loop: the less connected you feel, the more you check, and the more you check, the more there is to miss.

How do you deal with FOMO in the moment?

Four steps: name it, then change the scene. When the twinge arrives, usually while scrolling a friend’s holiday or a party you were not at, try this:

1. Say what it is. “That’s FOMO.” Naming it reminds you it is a passing feeling, not a verdict on your life.
2. Remember what you are looking at. A feed is an edited highlight reel. You are comparing your ordinary Tuesday with someone else’s best ten seconds.
3. Put the phone somewhere else. Not in your hand, not face up. A feeling you stop feeding has less to grow on.
4. Do one thing here. Finish the chapter, walk round the block, text one person directly rather than watching everyone at once.

It will not feel like a triumph. It will feel slightly boring. That is fine; boredom is the price of being where you are, and it is worth paying.

How do you avoid FOMO in the first place?

Five habits help, mostly by designing your days so there is less to miss:

• Curate hard. Mute or unfollow accounts that reliably leave you feeling behind. You are not obliged to watch anyone’s life.
• Pick your events on purpose. Say yes to fewer things you actually want, rather than monitoring all the things you might want.
• Keep one screen-free stretch a day. A morning, an evening, a walk. It trains the muscle of being content without updates.
• Try the opposite feeling. People sometimes call it JOMO, the joy of missing out: the quiet satisfaction of a night in that you chose. It sounds twee. It is also true.
• Protect your own interests. A hobby you are absorbed in is the most reliable antidote to watching other people’s.

If you want somewhere to start, our piece on how to be more present covers the everyday version of this.

Is FOMO a sign something is wrong?

No, usually not. Everyone feels it sometimes, and a feed is almost perfectly engineered to produce it. It is worth paying closer attention if checking feels compulsive, if it is costing you sleep, or if the low mood lingers after you put the phone down. In those cases, talking to someone you trust or your GP is sensible. This page is general information, not medical advice.

For most of us, getting over FOMO is less about willpower and more about an audit: which apps, which accounts, which hours are doing the damage, and what we would rather be doing instead. That is exactly what The Anti-Algorithm Audit walks you through, gently and on paper.